Friday, March 7, 2008

Surf City Pizza

Oh man, I am SO bummed. I can't believe I'm stuck in this 110 degree hole working when there are all those killer waves out there. What's wrong with all these people, why are they coming in here to order a stupid pizza when they could be OUT THERE riding all those waves! This is so bogus. This working gig is really not for me, who says I need to be taught responsibility. Responsibility is lookin' at those waves and choosin' which one to ride, the one that'll show all those beach bums who knows their way around a board. The one that'll win me that crown and all that sweet, sweet prize money. Who needs a stupid job anyway when they could be surfin'. Like learning how to make a pizza is really gonna take me far in life. Jeez.

Hey wait a second.

I bet that if I started making really bad pizzas people would stop buying them. Then the owner would have to let me go and there'd be nothing my old man could say about it. No business, no need for an employee. Oh yeah. I can practically taste the freedom and the salt air!

But how? How can I make pizzas so bad that the customers will flee? This is going to take some experimenting... It's got to be really, really vile. Oh man, this is gonna work, I can feel it in my bones. By this time next week I will be ridin' the waves, a free man again. I'm practically outta here already.

But what to put on the pizza...

Hey, wait! I've got it! Check it out man! I'm gonna do something so vile they're even gonna write petitions against it!

My secret weapon. This is definitely gonna work! No one in their right mind would ever want PINEAPPLE on a pizza! One bite and it's over. I am SO outta here...

This week's Sunday Scribbling's prompt was "the experiment". It's been a while since I wrote any fiction so I decided to have some fun with it.

28 comments:

Amiene Rev said...

Greeting Sunday Scribbler,

I love the pineaple to be thinned sliced. That would make a perfect pineaple pizza.

Domestic Spaz said...

This was brilliant!

And it makes me want pizza. :)

Lis Garrett said...

HAHAHAHA!!

I love your stories, Robin! Personally, I have never tried pineapplge on pizza and it's just never something I care to do. Blech!

That is, unless someone can convince me I'm missing out on a real culinary treat!

Robin said...

See, that's where the kid failed. He was trying to create something awful, but people decided they LIKED it!

Not me mind you, I grew up in NY. Pineapple has NO place on MY pizza *shudder*.

Phyllis Sommer said...

this was hilarious...love it! (and i love pineapple pizza so thank you to your fictitious slacker:-)

keith hillman said...

Marvellous!

Pineapple on a pizza! Yuc! I can't imagine what an Italian would make of it!

Great read

Space Mom said...

OMG! I LOVE pineapple on pizza. We do it all of the time!
The warm sweet taste of the pineapple with the spicy taste of the sauce! MMMMMMM

LittleWing said...

great story... pineapple and canadian bacon....well sorta...

UL said...

:)actually I like pineapple and jalapenos on my pizza!! i am wierd arent i?

tumblewords said...

LOL - even the best laid experiments! I love pineapple on pizza, pepperoni and peppers. Brilliant!

laughingatchaos said...

See, Robin, we differ in pizza styles. You like NYC style, I'd sell my soul for kickin' Chicago style (super thick crust, chunky sauce, and enough cheese and slab sausage to shock your heart). :) But I do love pineapple and ham on pizza. It's good variety from the Chicago style.

myrtle beached whale said...

My favorite pizza is ham and pineapple. I guess I proved your premise that no one in their right mind would want pineapple on their pizza.

http://myrtlebeachramblings.blogspot.com/2008/03/sunday-scribblings-experiment-3908.html

Tammy said...

LOL Very clever and tasty post. ;)

anthonynorth said...

Good pizza writing :-)

Redness said...

Delish ... pineapple, the scourge of every pizza afficianado - love it and your yummy post too!

paisley said...

yummy... i call that " a hawiian"... mmmmmmm

rebecca said...

Poor guy, did that ever backfire! Who would've thunk it that people would've enjoyed pineapple pizzas?! This was a lot of fun to read! I loved it...I was grinning the whole time....I had the surfer dude in my head already...like Keanu Reave's Excellent Adventure, man! This was awesome dude! :)

Marie said...

OMG I LOVE pineapple on pizza. It's the shizzle!

Linda Jacobs said...

A delicious read! As good as a Hawaiian pizza! (My favorite!)

Lea said...

YOU are so fired!!!!

paris parfait said...

Very clever, Robin! Actually pineapple with Canadian bacon is a popular choice in San Francisco! :)

Shannon said...

Great writing again. Your muse has returned! Congrats!

sister AE said...

hee-hee. I'd say your experiment was a great success! Nice read.

ell said...

Loved it!

I've known kids like this.

Just Jen said...

LOL I LOVE pineapple!

This Eclectic Life said...

Rofl! This is priceless! You "do" teenager very well. Just remember what goes through their minds when your kids get that age!

gautami tripathy said...

I am hungry and I just finished my supper!

Jon said...

I've never tried pineapple on pizza. But I am partial to banana and salami .