Uh oh. After I told my husband I didn't know what to write about this week, he suggested this little gem, after which he promptly confessed that the idea of a unicycle was becoming more and more appealing to him! (Is he utterly and totally MAD???) He claims it would be the perfect combination of cycling and pilates. I said it would be the perfect combination of cycling and falling down. Hopefully this list will be sufficiently persuasive that we don't have to figure out who is actually right...
1. I'm allergic to vast blood loss.
2. Broken bones sticking through skin at weird angles would probably make me puke.
3. If he tried to ride in the living room he'd be at risk of getting decapitated by the ceiling fan.
4. The paramedics would be laughing too hard to actually treat his multiple injuries when they arrive to find he'd fallen off a unicycle.
5. He'd need a red nose and a clown costume to complete the ensemble.
6. Where would he put the rack?
7. He'd have to fight all the neighborhood kids for the chance to ride it.
8. Traveling on only one wheel would double his commute time.
9. He'd be at risk of getting kidnapped by a passing circus.
10. He'd be slower than on his bike, and so less able to outrun scary barking dogs.
11. No place to strap Maya's seat. He'd have to take her to school on his shoulders. And she'd have to wear sparkly spandex while doing it.
12. He's already broken quite enough bones getting hit by cars on his bike. Just think of how many people would crash into him because they'd be staring at the flippin' unicycle.
13. And the best reason ever not to get a unicycle? (cue the David Letterman style drumroll) OUR kids would want to ride it!!
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