Saturday, October 20, 2007

Absolute Power - Will I Let It Corrupt Me?

If I were Queen there would be so many changes to make, so many desperately needed improvements... A little tweaking here, a few resolutions there...What to do, what to do...

First off, no schools or jobs would begin before 10 am. I understand the need to fit a day's activities in, but really, 8:00? That's just cruel, especially for the poor parents who have to get their charges up and out at that ungodly hour.

Next, each house would be supplied with its own fancy-shmancy espresso service - ON TAP. Why have to spend thousands on a machine that takes up half your counter, or be stuck with plain old drip just because it's cheaper, or worse, have to support a big corporation just to get your morning joe? Better to just turn on the tap. Oh, and of course the tap next to it would have frothed milk. Can't have one without the other after all. No decaf though. If you're drinking decaf you don't really need it that badly after all, do you dear?

Ok, moving rapidly along. Giant whirlpool baths in every home. Even those (like mine, ahem) with no bathroom big enough to install one. Why, you ask? Simple. The kids would stop fighting bathtime, and better yet they wouldn't need a whole tub full of toys, leaving the tub clean and inviting for the adults to use later without having to shovel out 80 billion small floating toys.

Next - all clothes must be comfortable. No more fabrics that don't breathe, no more binding waistbands, never ever any tight necks, just lots of swingy easy clothing that looks great but is still fun to wear.

That's probably enough for my first day, but I'll throw out one last proclamation: from this day forward, chocolate is diet food. No calories, no guilt.

Look here to see how other kings and queens plan to spend their first days in charge.

The Write-Away Contest hosted by Scribbit


And while I'm here, I'd like to thank Shalee from Shalee's Diner, this month's guest judge, for awarding me an honorable mention in Scribbit's October Write-Away contest for The Nut of the Month Club. I had fun writing it and the recognition is lovely.

27 comments:

grace said...

Robin,congrats on the write-away award. You deserve it (more).

BTW, the Nut of the Month link is erroneous. It is directing somewhere else (double http's thrown in). :-)

Robin said...

Thanks for the heads up Grace, I'll go fix it now.

Joseph C. Harris said...

Great post. I really like some of your suggestions

~Virginia~ said...

Robin, let me be the 1st person to move into this wonderful world!! :) I am not a morning person at all...unless it's a special occasion. Not having to make my daily run to Starbucks would be wonderful, too. I don't know how to make the fancy stuff though. I just have a plain little coffee pot. But I'll learn! :) Great ideas, all!

Marie said...

I hope your tax rate isn't too high because I'm moving to your world.

Awareness said...

bring it on!! Love the chocolate idea.....

Lucy said...

boy oh boy... just tell me where your throne is and I'm moving there! Love your ideas!

Carol Anne said...

LOL! Love the list. Only difference in my world would be that every house would have a huge whirlpool tub for the mom alone. The water would not run into for anyone else!

Pen and the Sword said...

Nice! Spunky and fun :o) I could go for those changes!

tumblewords said...

Congratulations on your award! Well-deserved!
If you're drinking decaf you don't really need it that badly after all, do you dear? This sentence caught me completely off-guard and I'm still laughing.
Nifty post!

Jo said...

Well done you on the write away. I loved this piece too!

Jo said...

Though I have to disagree on the decaff. My first is half caf half decaff and after that I swig decaff all day long in search of that elusive hit.

Robin said...

You do realize that if you're drinking decaf that that hit is going to continue to elude you, right?

Redness said...

Ohhh yea, I'll pass on the fancy schmansy (love that term) so does that mean I'll get a double dose of chocolate ... Please, your Queenship!! Wonderful!

Janet said...

LOL I love your story, can't wait for you to be queen!

paris parfait said...

Congrats on your recognition! And your post is very funny. I especially am intrigued by chocolate with no calories. :)

Kim said...

I think I would elect you queen right now! Just the toy free whirlpool tub is enough for me.

Thanks for the nice comment on my mosaic post at TheBitterBall.

Tori said...

If we voted for Queen you would absolutely have my vote!
I agree with your ENTIRE platform!!!!

Patois said...

I'm afraid we're rather early risers here. If I had to amuse the kids for four hours before getting rid of them, I'd go crazy. How about there can be an early bird option in your realm?

J. Lynne said...

I totally vote for you to be queen.

Stacy said...

I was totally voting for because of espresso on tap. But the whirlpool tub totally sealed the deal. I'd like mine installed close to one another!

Great post.

Jen said...

Ok, you sooo deserved that honorable mention. That was an outstanding post. :) Congrats!

giggles said...

Very cute post...you got my vote!!
Especially the chocolate...

gautami tripathy said...

Chocolate with nuts? I am all for it!

Lisa Sullivan said...

Chocolate as diet food? Oh, Girl...you need to sign me up!!

I'm all for the 10am start to the day too!

You're on a roll. :-)

kimberley said...

Hail to the Queen! (my husband seconds that - he is a school teacher and has to be at work by 7 am. He will go along with anything to go to work at 10!)

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Your comment about decaf is perfect. And I'll let you have absolute power if those are your choices!