I'm not a particularly outrageous person, not on purpose anyway. While I will freely confess to being a bit (ok a lot) of a free spirit I don't often consciously cross the line to truly outrageous. I've never dyed my hair pink, or worn fabulous vintage clothing complete with feather boas guaranteed to provoke stares of both horror and envy. I can't belch the alphabet.
Sometimes I wonder if this is a character flaw.
How it might feel to be so self-confident that you would dare to appear in public with shocking red lipstick and a fabulously large hat. To be so far ahead of the trends that you become the trend-setter, rather than the follower. (Or worse, so hopelessly out of touch that you wouldn't recognize and up and coming trend if it jumped up and bit you in the ass. Or is that just me?) I remember a girl named Pam that I knew in high school. She was outrageous. Before the rest of the school knew what New Wave was she had shaved one side of her head. Then she dyed the other side purple. Purple. Pam was outrageous. She'd say anything to anybody. Do anything. Take any dare. I'm not sure she was liked, but she made one hell of a splash. Everyone knew her name. I knew I'd never want to be like her, probably couldn't be even if I'd wanted to, but deep down I did admire her spunk. I wonder where it took her in life.
This week I feel too beaten down by circumstances to even consider putting on an outrageous front (or even an outrageous hat), but I wonder if I could even when things were brighter. If I would dare. If I should do it anyway, just for the release. Say something shocking, or do something shocking, or just wear something utterly extraordinary.
Would it be liberating, or would I be a small girl playing dress-up in her mother's closet? Would I in fact be liberated, or just gawked at and humiliated?
I'm not sure I'm brave enough to find out.
On second thought, maybe I think I'll just stick to my own style, Bohemian and outdated though it may be. I'll just call it timeless. Yes, timeless. Timeless and a bit unique. And utterly me. What you see is what you get. Not outrageous, but familiar and very comfortable.