I finally saw the orthopedist on Thursday. Apparently I have "high arch foot" and after nearly thirty-cough years of living with it it's decided it doesn't like me any more.
I am on ten days worth of oral steroids and have a referral for both 8 sessions of physical therapy and custom orthotics (which I have no intention of wearing until next fall - this is FLIP-FLOP season people!). He told me that they were preventative and that I "didn't have to wear them at home". Since I work from home that covers most of the day, then I can extrapolate kid-fetching and errand-running as "home-centered" activities. The steroids and PT better work, because we're heading into six months of soaring temperatures and there is no way in hell I'm wearing closed shoes every day for the next six months. Not gonna happen.