Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Key To The Parenting Closet

I wish I had a key to the magical closet that holds the parenting manuals. You know, the special ones that tell you how it's really done. If I only had that key, I could have read the manual and understood that this morning when my son suddenly dropped his backpack in the middle of the schoolyard, stuck his fingers in both ears, and ran off that he wasn't misbehaving but rather was scared of an older child who had cursed him a few weeks before. I would have known that it would be best to simply pick up the bag and go talk to him instead of angrily racing after him and demanding (publicly, thus creating a whole other issue that we will have to deal with later) that he go back and get it. I would have trusted him enough to stop and ask why he'd done something so out of place, rather than jumping to assume it was misbehavior or at the very least carelessness and responding in anger.

If I had the key to that magical closet full of parenting manuals I wouldn't feel like such a lousy parent this morning.

20 comments:

gautami tripathy said...

No parent is lousy. WE all learn as we go along. Parenting manuals are kind of useless. No two situations are same.

Mel said...

Robin,
I felt exactly h same this morning ((HUGS))

Mel
xxx

tinker said...

I'm not sure there's a large enough place to hold them all - I'm afraid there would have to be an individual manual for each and every child. However, if you should find the place and its key, I'm sure there are plenty of us who would like to get in there as well! (Mine are grown, and still a manual would come in handy, lol)

Jo said...

I've had a difficult 24 hours on that front too, so you have my empathy, my sympathy and a hug!

Nancy said...

I agree, so many manuals for so many different types of children.

With mine being young adults, hind site is 20/20, but even with that, I can see no one can direct us, for each child is unique and as parents we have our hits and misses on how we live out each day with them.

Don't be hard on yourself, at last you realize you could have handled it different, and will be aware for the next thing that comes along =)

Janice said...

Robin - I had a day like that with Liam yesterday. I had to ask his forgiveness last night for the way I reacted to him. Huge sympathetic hugs to you.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Hugs, babe.

One thing I've learned is that when they do something strange like that, there's a good reason for it and I need to take a deep breath and remind us both that it's not them I'm angry at.

I had a moment like this yesterday, too.

Melissa Garrett said...

oh, oh, oh . . .

We've all felt the same, so please don't beat up yourself over the situation. I can't tell you how many times I have mistakenly assumed my children to be misbehaving when what they are really trying to do is tell me something. You are not a lousy parent at all!!

LaLa said...

It really is so hard...sorry he is having a hard time with someone. I know you are an awesome mom so give yourself a break and give him a big hug!

paris parfait said...

Every parent has longed for this key at one time or another. The important thing is that we listen and try to right the wrongs. Sometimes the things our children must endure is so painful; as long as we are there to listen and comfort and help when necessary, then we're doing our jobs as parents. No such thing as a perfect parent!

TnMomTo3 said...

I think we're all guilty of something like this...I'm still waiting on the owner's manual.

Big hugs to both of you!!

tumblewords said...

oh, yes...we don't have enough keys, that's for sure. My granddaughter (9 at the time) said, 'Well, you know pobody's nerfect. She had a good point!

Christine said...

When you find the key, could you make me a copy!

Robin,
We do learn as we go along. It is hard. Don't be hard on yourself. You are a wonderful mother. You know with Marissa, I'd gone through this the first couple weeks of school, were some real tough times.
Hugs to both of you.

Kim said...

Don't beat yourself up Robin, you are a great mom! We've all had days like that and we just live and learn and get better.

If you didn't recognize what and why he had done what he did....then you could call your self a lousy mother *wink*

kimberley said...

What a great mom who can take a step back and reassess what happened. What a fabulous mom who can realize her mistake. What a loving mother who can come back from her assessment and do her best to reach out to her child.

You. I'm talking about you.

Jen said...

Yeah, when you find that key to the magic bookcase of parenting books, let me know. I'd really like the help
...says the woman whose sons are destroying the room behind her as they watch "Dirty Jobs." sigh...

Lea said...

You are the manual!!! and the fact that you know that there are other ways to do things... is a gift, that your children will learn, for we all make mistakes. It is a brave person who can know this, and do differently next time. Lovely post.

Poppy Fields said...

I didn't do so well either this morning.

It'll be okay.

Erin said...

I'd like a key too please...

keith hillman said...

What I learned about parenting many years ago, is that it is not an exact science. What is correct for one child may be totally inappropriate for another. What seems the right thing to do one day is completely wrong the next.

Thank goodness they've grown up! If the grandkids play up I just hand them back!